it feels sometimes that just as you are getting ready to say goodbye to a place things start to fall into place and its like if life was like this 2 months ago i would not have decided to move. Its feeling like youve tried so hard somewhere and then when youve just given up, things start to fall in your lap. This has happened to me before, and is happending now in LA. Maybe its indicative of how one should really see the city in which they live, as a trasient state. I want to try to live in the next city as an experience, as a wash of coincedences, try not to make a home there, but to appreciate it as a beautiful place where people are trying to live life. Theres a subtle difference there im trying to get at, maybe its apparent i hope so.

Its also that in LA there are some days that are so excruciatingly beautiful and paradisatic: just totally unreal to the point that you forget that the last week was day after day of thick asthma inducing smog. So bad that it hurts the eyes, makes you feel lethargic, useless. Then there are the days like today that are so clear and beautiful, you can see all of the plants and people taking deep breaths and looking alive and feeling sprightly again. Its totally maddening and unfair.

tonights church of craft meeting was totally wonderful as usual. there was much beadmaking, and collaging and knitting, I was hunkered in the corner determined to learn a gathered stich (it looks like a ribbon running through the knit and gathered) but couldnt figure out the whole knit twice into the same stich front and back direction.

Hilda brought a crazy quilt that is simply the most beautiful quilt i have ever seen, and alot becuase it was so candid and honest and gorgeously lovingly made i cant even do it justive in words. She embroidered flowers and cherries and words between all of thehpieces, creating a fairyland of thread, totally inspiring.

spirituality vs conceptuality: giving up ones sense of completion vs completion of an abstract thought.
just thinking about that in terms of art, and what this crafting vs my phhotography is al about. craft has taken over my focus from photography but not because is so different but because i have not benn able to engage in the craft of photography at all.

im tired. tommorrow, craftstore in rosemead for the last trimmings on allison's super birthday suprise. yay!

Perhaps in Los Angeles there is simply too much headspace. You wonder what you fill your head with there is so much empty time, time driving, the space between building and the endless sky that you can't even look up at most days because it is so bright. What happens in a place created out of a desert, with facades hastily shored up with paste and cement, and static electricity enought to make your movements feel borderline unnatural, not as fluid as in places with hot humidty where you can feel the air on your skin. Its like you are floating in air surroundded by nothing but the idea of air, and not much to hold yourself up with.